Viking Rap Showdown

Gather round, ye milk-drinkers!

Listen to the chief of the fjords! (hahaha)

I sailed across the salty sea To find someone as great as

me But all I found were trembling men Who ran when I

counted to ten My beard is thick,

my axe is sharp I'll turn your skull into a harp (skoll!)

I'm the king of the north,

the lord of the shield The biggest,

the baddest on any battlefield Your longboats are tiny,

your poetry is weak I'm the greatest Viking that you'll ever meet

(hey, hey,

hey!)

Your champion looks like a sheep I put his fighting spirit to

sleep He swung his sword and missed by a mile While I

stood there and cracked a big smile

I drink my mead from golden cups You're drinking puddles with the

pups (woof woof!)

I'm the king of the north,

the lord of the shield The biggest,

the baddest on any battlefield Your longboats are tiny,

your poetry is weak I'm the greatest Viking that you'll ever meet

(hey, hey, hey!)

You call yourself a warrior of name?

Your mother thinks your raiding is a shame

My grandmother can swing a club much faster than you

(hah) And she has ninety years of age

and only teeth of two!

I raid in the spring,

I raid in the fall I've got seventy gold shields hanging on

my wall You raid the pantry for a slice of stale cheese

While I make the mighty emperors beg on their knees (please!)

I'm the king of the north,

the lord of the shield The biggest,

the baddest on any battlefield Your longboats are tiny,

your poetry is weak I'm the greatest Viking that you'll ever meet

(hey, hey, hey!)

Yeah, that's right, go home to your farm! (shoo!)

My rhymes are sharper than your spear!

Who's the greatest? Me. (burp)