Xavier’s Rolling Assault

Ah, gather 'round, ye thirsty bastards,

and

hear of the day the highway burned! (hahaha)

Johnny Spells was a teenage mage with a hell-hound motor ride His

delinquent gang of hooligans was terrorizing the countryside!

But our heroes climbed in a metal beast,

Vesper and Lance in the rear And Xavier took the steering wheel

with a face completely devoid of fear!

Johnny Spells thought the road was his Johnny Spells thought they'd never

last But Xavier smiled a deadly smile And "PUNCH THE GAS!" (PUNCH

THE GAS!)

Now Xavier's a deadly shadow rogue,

a master of psychic steel But none of those legendary skills apply

when he's behind the wheel!

He slammed the pedal to the floor,

Vesper let out a shriek And we crashed straight into a wagon

cart in less than a single week!

...And did he rethink his life choices?

No! He did not!

What did Xavier do?

(HE PUNCHED THE GAS!) Oh,

the carriage flipped! It rolled and spun!

It sailed into the sky!

While Johnny Spells stared up in dread as his gang went flying

by! It was a brilliant combat scheme!

The Tactical Cartwheel maneuver!

He wiped them out by flipping upside down,

oh what a bold improver! (hooray!)

Then the dust cleared out,

and the road was quiet But who should arrive to clean up

the riot? A organized guild of halfling workers Socialist street-sweeping,

shadow-lurkers

They took the debris,

and they made it disappear

(shhh) Let's not ask questions of who pays them here!

Because Johnny Spells thought the road was his Johnny Spells thought they'd

never last

But Xavier smiled a deadly smile And "PUNCH THE GAS!" (PUNCH THE

GAS!)

So raise up your tankards to driving disasters!

To the madmen behind the wheel who are our masters!

What do we do when the road gets rough?

(WE PUNCH THE GAS!) (hahaha)