Heroes, Horns, and Hot Messes

Come gather round friends for the tale of the three Who survived

lunchroom fiends and lived to drink free Young Lance and Xavier and

Vesper the grand The luckiest terrors in all of the land They

fought off corn gremlins in academic halls Then died and shook hands

with the grim reaper's walls But a hot phoenix egg brought them

back from the grave For death is too small for the paths

that they pave (haha,

indeed)

Raise up your tankards and sing out their names They walk through

the chaos and laugh at the flames Through devilry,

doom, and a bearshark attack They go down to ruin but always

come back To the teenage brigade,

let the wild chorus ring (huzzah)

They ran from cult graveyards and Johnny Spells' gang As rubber burned

hot and the motorbikes sang Now they ride a demon-dog cycle of

steel While Lance grows a horn that is terrifyingly real And Xavier

the rogue fights with giant-sized steel By choosing no magic to seal

up the deal While Vesper the brilliant draws cards from a deck

And wishes away every pain in the neck (incredible,

really) Raise up your tankards and sing out their names They walk

through the chaos and laugh at the flames Through devilry,

doom, and a bearshark attack They go down to ruin but always

come back To the teenage brigade,

let the wild chorus ring (cheers)

To Crows Bend they marched for the Blade of the Void Then

sought out the maidens who Zayn had annoyed To the Black Pit

they went, a dark terrible place Full of monsters and vampires and

absolute disgrace They fought through the shadows,

they cornered the beast And liberated the souls of the deceased Then

they burned down the nightclub,

a master-planned hit Yes,

they totally meant to incinerate it

(definitely on purpose, my friends)

They are young, they are wild,

they are highly absurd And they rarely remember a single wise word

Yet they stand as the shield when the shadows advance By sheer

luck and chaos and glorious chance

Raise up your tankards and sing out their names They walk through

the chaos and laugh at the flames Through devilry,

doom, and a bearshark attack They go down to ruin but always

come back To the teenage brigade,

let the wild chorus ring

So here's to the kids who defy every rule Let's hope they

don't accidentally burn down the school (well,

most of it anyway)