Static Shine
Hey there, friend!
Are you feeling blue? (hahaha)
Got a squeak in your step,
a draft in your floor?
Are your neighbors complaining when you walk through the door?
Well, do not panic,
we have got the cure A brand new paste that is totally
pure!
It is made of gray sludge from a deep dark well
And it has a delightful,
mysterious smell!
(ooh, nice!)
Slather it on, lock it in tight!
(yeah) Our industrial slime makes everything right!
It is green, it is sticky,
it stains every shoe But it is only
ninety-nine dollars for you!
Do not mind the smoke or the tingling skin
That is just how you know the magic begins!
If it melts through the table,
do not be afraid That is a top-tier chemical bond being made!
No returns, no refunds,
no questions allowed Just stand up tall
and feel
incredibly proud!
(so proud!)
Slather it on, lock it in tight!
(yeah) Our industrial slime makes everything right!
It is green, it is sticky,
it stains every shoe But it is only
ninety-nine dollars for you!
Side effects may include a temporary loss of sight
An unexpected glowing in the middle of the night!
(don't worry about it!)
Call
now! (operators are standing by!)
Slather it on!
Buy today!