Addicted to Sorry

(ahhhh) Sorry for the silence,

Sorry that I cried,

Sorry that I needed you,

Sorry that I tried.

Sorry for the questions,

Sorry for the truth,

I built a little prison

Out of everything I do.

I learned to swallow every word Before it left my tongue,

I became the peacekeeper Before I knew what I'd become.

I'm addicted to apologizing

For things I never did,

Making myself smaller So everybody else can live.

I say “sorry” when I'm hurting,

I say “sorry” when I'm right,

I've been asking for forgiveness For taking up my own

damn life.

I know everybody's birthdays,

I know their favorite songs,

I know exactly how to fix

The things that they did wrong.

But ask me what I wanted— Watch me stare into the floor.

I've spent so long being useful

I forgot what I was for.

Maybe “no” isn't a weapon,

Maybe tears aren't an attack,

Maybe I can disappoint you

And still find my way back.

Maybe I don't owe an apology

For breathing in this room.

Maybe being someone's favorite

Doesn't mean I disappear for you.

I'm breaking my addiction To apologizing for my name,

I don't have to carry everybody Just to prove that I can

stay. I'll say “sorry” when I mean it,

I'll say “no” when I need to,

And if that makes me selfish— Then maybe selfish is overdue.

Sorry... No. I'm learning.