To Afraid To Die (Angrier)

They said my name.

Then nothing.

No light.

No voice.

Just the horrible realization—

I was gone.

My hands were cold My lungs forgot me A room full of

faces Standing above me Someone said the time Someone closed my eyes

And somewhere beneath the silence I realized—

I didn't want to die.

No.

No, no—

You can't have me.

I WAS TOO AFRAID TO DIE

SO I STAYED ALIVE CLAWED MY WAY BACK WITH NOTHING BUT SPITE

NO MIRACLE NO SAVING LIGHT I JUST HATED DEATH

MORE THAN I HATED LIFE

I was too afraid to die

So I stayed alive.

Now every doorway feels deeper

Every dark room knows my name

Sometimes I swear there's a shadow Still waiting beside my grave I

hear it breathing

When I sleep

Feel cold fingers

Around my feet It says— “You already belong to me.”

I whisper— Not yet.

I didn't conquer death I fucking panicked.

I saw the end And couldn't stand it Terror turned to anger

Anger became breath And I hated being gone More than I feared

what came next

I WAS TOO AFRAID TO DIE

SO I STAYED ALIVE HEART WOULDN'T BEAT SO I BEAT IT INSIDE

NO HEAVEN OPENED NO DEVIL ARRIVED JUST A DEAD MAN SCREAMING— NOT

TONIGHT.

Maybe I should've gone.

Maybe something broke. Because every morning since Feels borrowed.

Every heartbeat sounds like footsteps.

Every breath feels stolen.

Death— I remember you.

I remember the cold.

I remember letting go.

And I remember

changing

my mind.

SO COME BACK. TAKE ANOTHER TRY.

STOP MY HEART. DRAIN ME DRY.

BURY ME DEEP. CLOSE BOTH MY EYES.

I'LL CRAWL THROUGH THE FUCKING EARTH— BECAUSE I'M STILL AFRAID TO DIE.

I WAS TOO AFRAID TO DIE

SO I STAYED ALIVE TOO FUCKING ANGRY TO CROSS THAT LINE CALL

IT A CURSE CALL IT DIVINE I DON'T CARE WHAT KEPT ME

HERE— THIS LIFE IS MINE.

I died once. That's enough.