PERFECT MALE ALLY

He walked in wearing a charity tee Said,

“Women deserve to be completely free”

Quoted three books he'd never read Then spent the whole night talking

over my head He knew every phrase,

every proper reply Had a rainbow pin and a tear in his

eye Said, “I'm not like them,

I'm one of the good”

Funny how “good” always means misunderstood

He listens when the cameras roll He knows exactly what to say

He'll hold your hand and praise your voice Then take the credit

anyway

Perfect male ally, give him a gold star

He learned all the right words,

now he thinks he's a superstar

Perfect male ally, tell us how you care

Put your feminism in your profile picture,

pin it everywhere

Perfect male ally, everybody clap He'll fight for women's freedom till somebody

asks him where he's at Perfect male ally,

aren't you such a guy?

He says, “I'm one of the good ones” And I say,

“That's a lie.”

He says, “Believe her,” when the room's looking on Then calls her

crazy when the audience is gone He knows how to apologize without

saying what he did Turns every accusation into something that he “never

meant” He'll post about consent with a caption in bold Then gets

offended when you tell him no He's fluent in justice,

conversationally woke But somehow every woman around him feels broke

He listens when the cameras roll

He knows exactly what to say

He'll call himself an ally If it gets him through the door

that day Perfect male ally,

give him a gold star

He learned all the right words,

now he thinks he's a superstar

Perfect male ally, tell us how you care

Put your feminism in your profile picture,

pin it everywhere

Perfect male ally, aren't you such a guy?

He'll

lecture

us on equality while asking us to justify Perfect male ally,

polished to the eye You can memorize the language And still be

the same guy

Take off the badge,

take off the smile Take off the costume you've been wearing all

this while No more speeches,

no applause No more hiding underneath progressive camouflage You don't get a

crown for doing what's right You don't get a medal for respecting

someone's life And if your kindness disappears when nobody can see Maybe

you're not an ally—

Maybe you just like being seen

Perfect male ally, give him one more star

He learned all the right words,

but he never learned who they were for

Perfect male ally, tell us how you care

Keep your polished little speeches,

we can smell

the bullshit there

Perfect male ally, everybody knows The mask looks pretty polished,

but the ugly always shows Perfect male ally,

wave your little flag You can call yourself a good man— We

don't have to call you that

Good man, good man,

that's what you say Good man,

good man, every single day Perfect male ally,

perfect little lie Say it to the mirror

Maybe you'll believe it this time.