Flashbite

There I am again.

Did you miss me?

... Don’t answer that. I

already know. Block my number,

change your name, close the curtains,

I’m the same. Not at your window,

not outside— I’m somewhere worse: inside your mind.

Or maybe that’s

just what I tell myself when I’m alone

at half past twelve.

You found somebody, I found another excuse to crawl back into

the life I lost with you.

Call me a stalker,

call me insane, call me the ghost that still remembers your name.

Call me a parasite

under your skin— every time I swear I’m leaving,

I come back again.

I’m your paparazzi, flash,

flash, flash— another memory

you thought had passed.

I’m your little parasite,

I bite, I cling,

living on the love

you don’t give me.

Go, go, go, I’ll let you breathe.

Wait— don’t go too far from me.

I know, I know,

I’m not your home,

but loving you won’t leave me alone.

Flash.

There I am again.

You have a lover.

God, how sweet. Someone else where I used to be.

Does he know the way you laugh?

Does he know your quiet half?

Does he know

there’s someone stupid writing songs about your past?

No—

that’s cruel. Forget I asked.

He’s not the villain.

I’m the past. You owe me nothing.

That’s the worst.

No broken promise, no hidden curse.

Just me returning to an empty place,

hoping one day you’ll miss my face.

Block me.

Miss me. Hate me.

Kiss me.

No— forget that. I’m being pathetic.

Leave me. Lose me.

Love him. Choose him.

I’ll disappear. I’ll disappear.

I’ll disapp— Hello again.

Maybe I’m not your paparazzi.

Maybe I’m not a parasite.

Maybe I’m only someone who never learned how to leave the love

of his life. But isn’t that prettier?

So much prettier than the truth.

Because the truth is: you moved on.

And I keep finding little doors back to you.

I knock. You answer.

I love you. You don’t.

I leave. I miss you.

I return. Again. Again.

Again.

No more flash.

No more chase.

No more trying to reclaim my place.

Pink light far away.

Blue light fades. And somewhere between obsession and goodbye,

the parasite finally learns not to survive on

you. ... Rilimof. Damn.