Glowing Between Blues

Blue room,

late night,

your name

in white light.

I close my eyes,

you’re there again. You’re always there again.

You changed your name,

you changed your life,

you found somebody to hold at night.

And I changed too,

or so I say,

but every road still knows your name.

Your photographs still hurt to see.

You look so happy without me.

And that’s the cruelest,

sweetest part: I’m glad you’re fine.

It breaks my heart.

I don’t want to take you from him.

I don’t want to make you choose.

I just wish I didn’t have to lose you

every time I look at you.

You still glow pink

inside my blue, I still see the world

in shades of you.

You moved on,

I stayed behind, loving you quietly

inside my mind. And if you asked me,

"Do you still?" I’d lie.

I’d say, "Not anymore." Then go home and love you like before.

Do our old songs

sound different now? Does someone else come to your mind?

When that guitar begins to play,

am I completely washed away?

Do you send him the songs you sent me?

Do you call him what you called me?

Does your heart move when I appear,

or am I only someone who was here?

Don’t answer. No— please answer.

Tell me something I can keep.

Tell me you remembered me on one insignificant week.

Tell me once you almost wrote.

Tell me once you missed my voice.

Tell me there was one small moment when forgetting me wasn’t your

choice.

Rilimof… Rilimof… Your name changed.

My love didn’t.

Rilimof…

Rilimof…

What a beautiful name to miss.

You still glow pink… I still glow blue… We don’t make purple

anymore.

But once, we did.

Once, we did.

Rilimof… my great love,

my almost forever, my beautiful once.