FINAL BOSS ♥♥♥

Health bar long as the hallway bitch good luck You been grinding

forty hours just to pull up

Walk in my room all armored and buffed up I hit one

button now your whole build fucked up (haha) You came through the

gate with your whole little party Mage in the back looking nervous

already Tank talking tough with a shield like a Chevy I sneezed

one time now the cleric need medics

Hold up

Run that

back

Final boss baby I don't do checkpoints You brought six potions I

brought six death points

Sword look legendary cool that's adorable Mine got a name and a

fucking tutorial You spent all week farming gear for the raid I

got bored Tuesday and deleted your save NPC told you I'm evil

and crazed That motherfucker works here I pay him minimum wage

Castle got lava cause heating ain't cheap Skeleton guards haven't slept in

three weeks Dragon downstairs keep stealing my meat I told him quit

once now he lives in the street You think you the chosen

one that's kinda cute Prophecy printed on white glowing loot Walk in

dramatic with smoke on your boots I skip your cutscene like bitch

get to it

Phase one easy I'm checking your confidence Phase two ceiling starts losing

its competence Phase three music get way too orchestral Phase four surprise

bitch I wasn't essential That's my clone

I'm upstairs eating Whole time you fighting I'm barely participating Watching your

health bar aggressively depreciating You dodge left twice now you think you

amazing Floor turn red better reconsider that placement

Everybody got a plan till the soundtrack change Choir start yelling and

the walls rearrange You brought holy water I brought Gatorade Been killing

heroes all day gotta stay hydrated I got loot in my pockets

you never gon see Drop rate point-zero-zero-three Kill me once come back

next week Patch notes say they buffed me accidentally (Goddamn) Your guild

leader mad cause the raid went south Keyboard broke and the Discord

went loud One dude rage quit one blaming the mouse I'm still

in the throne room eating takeout I don't chase heroes they deliver

themselves Walk through my door carrying riches and spells Then die on

the carpet and drop all they wealth At this point adventurers basically

DoorDash

Final boss bitch I'm professionally difficult Armor ridiculous damage is critical You

got a strategy written and printable I changed one move now the

guide is fictional You finally beat me crowd going insane Credits start

rolling champagne in your brain Screen goes black then it loads up

again

NEW GAME PLUS

Bitch I'm

back with a second health chain