Puppy Promises

We’re on our second date,

you’re looking quite pleased Talking 'bout your five-year plan,

entirely at ease

You say you want a brood,

a whole football team Sipping on your IPA and painting up the

dream (sounds lovely, mate)

But then your eyes light up,

you’re leaning on the table

Talking like a toddler who is reading from a fable "We'll get

a golden retriever and a little baby boy!" Like a pair of

matching socks or a brand-new shiny toy

Oh, you want a baby like you want a little pup Who’s

gonna clean the living room when it gets torn up?

Who’s staying home while you climb the career ladder?

Who’s losing sleep when the baby cries louder?

(Not you, apparently)

You say "We'll just wing it,

how hard can it be?"

While I’m calculating nine months of lost salary

You want cute pictures,

the little matching shoes

But when the toddler screams,

you'll hit the snooze (classic,

absolute classic)

Who’s doing the washing?

(You?) Who’s buying the pram?

(Doubt it) You want a little plaything

But I know who I am

Oh, you want a baby like you want a little pup Who’s

gonna clean the living room when it gets torn up?

Who’s staying home while you climb the career ladder?

Who’s losing sleep when the baby cries louder?

(Have another beer, mate)

Go get a puppy first,

love

See if you can keep it alive

(good luck)