TIGHT UP YOUR SEATBELT

Good morning passengers ,

welcome on board. Flight B-Jay six-eight-nine.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready to invite our First Class

and Business Class passengers to board the aircraft.

Please have your boarding pass and passport ready (ready,

ready,bitchy,ready,bitchy,bitchy)

BEE-JAY

BEE-JAY

SIX-EIGHT

SIX-EIGHT NINE-NINE-NINE Huh?

This is your D.J.

speaking

B-JAY and the crew Welcome you aboard Take

your bags, take

your seat Keep that cool

in line Don’t make me repeat PLEASE

We’re about to take off ,

Please fasten your seatbelts Return your seat upright Turn those big devices

off

We’re lining up for flight Ladies and gentlemen We are next in

line Cabin crew, take your seats It’s departure

time

Cruising

, Cruising

Fly up

high

Cruising

, Cruising Cruising ,

Cruising

Fly up high We’re about to roll through sky (Cruising)

(Bitching up)

Ladies and gentlemen ,

D-Jay B-Jay speaking ,

We are experiencing severe turbulence

Please return to your seats immediately and fasten your seat belts tightly.

Hold on tight Hold on tight We have encountered a minor technical

issue, and we are assessing the situation.

Cruising , Cruising

Fly up

high

Cruising , Cruising Cruising ,

Cruising For safety reasons,

I have decided to divert the flight to … NOWHERE.

Cruising . cruising Fly up high We’re about to roll through sky (Cruising)

(Bitching up) We will be making an emergency landing shortly.

Please follow all crew instructions. (SHIT!)

Cruising , Cruising Fly down low We’re about to bow the ground

Cruising Cruising cruising ,

Cruising Attention, crew and passengers.

Brace for impact.

Cruising

, Cruising Fly down low

We’re about to bow the ground

Cruising Cruising cruising ,

Cruising.