ELASTIC FLIGHT

Good morning passengers ,

welcome on board.

Flight B-Jay six-eight-nine.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready to invite our First Class

and Business Class passengers to board the aircraft.

Please have your boarding pass and passport ready (ready,

ready,bitchy,ready,bitchy,bitchy) BEE-JAY

BEE-JAY SIX-EIGHT SIX-EIGHT

NINE-NINE-NINE Huh?

This is your D.J.

speaking B-JAY and the crew Welcome you aboard

Take your bags, take your

seat Keep that cool in line Don’t make

me repeat

PLEASE

We’re about to take off ,

Please fasten your seatbelts Return your seat upright Turn those big devices

off We’re lining up for flight

Ladies and gentlemen

We are next in line Cabin crew,

take your seats It’s departure time

Cruising , Cruising Fly up high

Cruising , Cruising Cruising ,

Cruising Fly up high

We’re about to roll through

sky (Cruising) (Bitching up)

Ladies and gentlemen ,

D-Jay B-Jay speaking ,

We are experiencing severe turbulence Please return to your seats immediately and

fasten your seat belts tightly.

Hold

on tight Hold on tight We have encountered a minor technical issue,

and we are assessing the situation.

Cruising , Cruising Fly up high Cruising ,

Cruising Cruising , Cruising For safety reasons,

I have

decided

to divert

the

flight

to … NOWHERE. Cruising .

cruising Fly up high We’re about to roll through sky

(Cruising) (Bitching up) We will be making an emergency landing shortly.

Please follow all crew instructions. (SHIT!)

Cruising , Cruising Fly down low We’re about to bow the ground

Cruising Cruising cruising ,

Cruising Attention,

crew

and

passengers. Brace for

impact. Cruising , Cruising Fly down low We’re

about to bow the ground Cruising Cruising cruising ,

Cruising.