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I'm swiping left
and swiping right
To find a champion tonight
But all I see
is bathroom tile
And grainy photos with scowls and no smiles (ha!)
He says he is a 'vision-ary lead' But drives his mother's minivan
indeed
He claims he's thirty-two,
great looking and fit But his hairline's made a quick exit
(bye bye!)
Oh, a crazy cat lady's a massive promotion To a life of
sweet peace and devious devotion Why negotiate chores and a waistline expanding
When three fluffy kittens are far less demanding? (meow!)
This one is forty but acts like he's ten
That one is searching for a mommy once again
Their bios are filled with such grand descriptions For their lazy routines
and predilections. (oh please)
No more awkward dinners,
no more awful jokes No more matching energy with questionable folks Just
soft quiet evenings with whiskers and purrs And no more demands that
are frankly absurd.
So I'm stocking up yarn and I'm quitting the app,
While a lovely calico is asleep on my lap! (hahaha)