No track playing
Start playback to see track details here.
(ooh-ooh-yeah) I bought a plant to prove I’m grown
Named him Kevin, gave him a home
He’s got sunlight, stable roots
And never overdrafts for food
He stands up straight,
he pays no rent
His carbon footprint’s excellent
Meanwhile, I missed one payment date
And now the bank knows where I sleep
My plant has better credit than me
Pre-approved for photosynthesis He’s got green leaves,
I’ve got fees
He could probably finance property
My plant has better credit than me No student debt,
no therapy
He grows in value naturally
I’m depreciating emotionally
Kevin got a credit card
The limit’s higher than my car
He bought a condo by the sink
With zero down and lower rates
I asked him for financial tips
He dropped one leaf and gave me this: “Stay in one place,
drink water daily”
Honestly, that felt insulting I gave him everything he needs He gave
me oxygen for free
That’s more support than any boss Has ever offered back to me
My plant has better credit than me
Soon he’ll own the whole property
When they arrive to repossess me
Tell my mother Kevin gets custody
Kevin, please co-sign.