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(yeah, yeah, yeah)
They said I could have bought a home If brunch had left
my bank alone Apparently one piece of bread Destroyed my generation’s wealth
Forget the wages, rent and debt Forget the market’s crooked bet The
reason I have nothing yet Is green fruit smashed with pepper flakes
It’s the fourteen-dollar avocado toast conspiracy One little breakfast murdered my prosperity
I could’ve owned a mansion by the sea But I added one
egg for three fifty It’s the fourteen-dollar avocado toast conspiracy
Call the news and blame millennials immediately I guess my coffee stole
my equity And almond milk collapsed the whole economy
Grandpa bought a house at twenty-two On one paycheck and a handshake
too I’ve got two jobs,
a side hustle And a coupon for shampoo They say,
“Stop wasting cash on fun” So I canceled daylight and the sun
I ate dry rice for thirty months The house went up another
hundred grand
Follow
the crumbs.
The toast goes deeper than we thought.
Big Avocado knows everything.
It’s the fourteen-dollar avocado toast conspiracy They solved the crisis—now stop asking
about policy I skipped my breakfast responsibly
The bank still laughed and called
security
Would you like to add bacon?
Absolutely not. Actually…
yes.