

{wind, low bass, lone Western whistle} (whistling) [Spoken]
Montis had two kinds of trouble: the kind with guns,
and the kind wearing red lipstick.
{gritty twanging
spaghetti-Western
guitar, sudden crash into overdriven indie rock} Stella worked the Rusty Crown,
Red boots upon the bar; She could empty out a cowboy’s purse
Before he’d wandered far.
Bettina dealt the cards out back,
All perfume, smoke and sin; She’d smile as though you’d won her
heart, Then quietly take your winnings.
Sheriff Morgan tipped his hat,
Smokecrow watched the door,
Deadline Ellis checked his mines And ordered drinks for four.
Three dangerous men with loaded guns,
Each certain he was clever; Then Stella winked,
Bettina smiled, And they forgot why they’d come together.
{stop-start guitar stabs, rhythmic talk-sung delivery} Ride,
Montis Slatterns, ride!
With poor judgement as your guide!
Stella steals the silver,
Bettina takes the gold,
While three cowboys lose their trousers,
guns and pride. Ay-oh!
Ay-oh! Every fool believes he’s different,
though—
But a cowboy chasing women Always leaves with less than what he
rode in for.
{loud gang vocals,
handclaps, frantic outlaw energy} Morgan laid Torrente down: “SUBMIT TO THE LAW!”
Stella said, “Is that your weapon,
Or are you pleased by what you saw?” He bought champagne and
made a speech On justice,
truth and duty; He woke up in a cattle trough,
Still praising her beauty.
His badge was pinned upon a goat,
His boots were on the wire.
Morgan called it “undercover work.” The goat had climbed much higher.
{sudden silence before punchline,
driving bass drum}
Smokecrow leaned towards Bettina:
“I’m a difficult man to know.” She said,
“I love a mystery.” He said,
“That’s why I never show.”
He demonstrated his Rattler,
Explained the sights and spring; She sold the bullets by the back
door Before he’d finished talking.
Deadline Ellis played it cool,
An Anvil at his hip: “I never chase a woman.”
Then Stella bit her lip.
He planted mines around the room
{landmine clicking sound effect,
tense breakdown, ticking hi-hats}
Ride, Montis Slatterns, ride!
With poor judgement as your guide!
Stella steals the silver,
Bettina takes the gold,
While three cowboys lose their trousers,
guns and pride. Ay-oh!
Ay-oh! Every fool believes he’s different,
though—
But a cowboy chasing women Always leaves with less than what he
rode in for.
{chaotic double-time punk energy,
screaming guitars} {gunfire sound effects,
collapsing wood crash, sudden complete silence} [Spoken] “That was a warning shot.”
(pause) “The building had been warned.” {lone clean guitar chord
resonates
to silence}