Probed and Jammed

{ominous jaw harp twang and washboard

scrape intro, building tension} Woke up in a beam of light,

ship hovering low

Strapped to a table,

heart racing, where did I go

They poked and they prodded with tools I can't name Then came

the probe, now my butt's in pain

(ahhh) {raspy delivery} Now I'm floating back down,

body all sore

Can't tell my friends,

they'd laugh and ignore The aliens got me,

left me with this ache

Butt throbbing from that damn probe mistake {build with spoons}

They probed my ass and it hurts like hell

Alien abduction, now I'm not well

Jaw harp ringing in my head all night

Washboard scraping my soul in fright

Banjo plucking the story of my shame

Bucket drums pounding this alien game

(yeah) {full band drop} Tried to explain but they think I'm insane

Green men with probes,

now my ass is in flames

Spoons clacking the rhythm of my distress

Jug bass rumbling under all this mess

(ouch) {intense rap flow} They probed my ass and it hurts like

hell

Alien abduction, now I'm not well

Jaw harp ringing in my head all night

Washboard scraping my soul in fright

Banjo plucking the story of my shame

Bucket drums pounding this alien game

(yeah yeah) {soaring ad-libs} Floating in space,

feeling violated

Butt still aching, can't be debated

Aliens laughing as they fly away

Left me with trauma and this pain to stay

{half-time feel}

Probe me no more,

I'm

done with this shit Alien butt pain,

forever I'll quit {decaying jaw harp and washboard fade}