Scooter-Mania

{heavy drums kick-in with

swung ride

cymbal, dirty blues

guitar riff, vintage tube amp warm crackle} (yeah) Oh Lord,

won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

Wait, hold on a second—forget what I said back then!

I don’t want no leather,

I don’t want no V8 engine roar,

Gasoline is dead, baby,

nobody wants it anymore!

{half-time classic blues groove}

Oh God, don’t buy me a Mercedes Benz,

All my friends drive Scooters,

gotta keep up with the trends!

Zipping down the sidewalk at twelve miles an hour,

Who needs a Ferrari when you’ve got lithium power?

Yeah, work hard all day,

no help from my friends,

So don’t buy me a Benz,

Lord—I need an E-Bike instead!

{soaring anthem hook, heavy rock beat} Look at Johnny on his Lime,

look at Sarah on her Bird,

It’s the quietest, dumbest revolution that you’ve ever heard!

I’m wearing my suit,

I got my helmet on tight,

Dodging old ladies and pedestrians left and right.

I parked it in the river,

then I left it in the trees,

Charging up my baby while I’m down on my knees!

{bouncing classic blues groove} {blistering heavy

blues

guitar solo, wah

pedal screech, vintage feedback,

sudden electronic beep beep sound} (beep beep!)

Fifty cents a minute just to feel the breeze,

Got a three-speed motor shaking both of my knees!

The Eco-Warriors smile as I glide through the park,

Praying that the battery holds until it gets dark.

If I crash into a trash can,

well, at least I saved the earth!

(Yeah, my orthopedic surgery is gonna cost a fortune...) {breakdown,

sparse funky bass and drums,

speaking-style vocals} Oh

Lord... don’t buy me no Benz...

Give me two little wheels...

and twenty-five percent charge...

Yeah, an E-Bike, Lord!

With a basket on the front!

Beep

beep! Get out of the way!

All my friends drive Scooters...

And I’m cooler than all of 'em!

{fading groove, heavy drum rolls,

slowing down tempo, low battery hum} (beep beep)