Cosmic Capital Blues

Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven… Six… Five… Four… Three… Two… One… WHOOSH!

Well, Mister Money bought a rocket,

Put his logo on the side,

Bought a seat beside the window,

Bought the universe in stride.

He said, “I’m going up for mankind!” Then he checked his hair

and shoes. He said,

“I’m doing this for science!” Then he asked,

“Can I get the news?” Fly me to the heavens,

baby, Put my name upon the moon!

I’m a self-made cosmic genius,

And I’m back before noon!

I’m a star among the stars now,

I’m a hero in the blue— If the poor can’t reach the

heavens, Well… that’s capitalism too!

There’s a movie star in orbit,

Doing yoga in zero-G,

Saying, “This is just incredible!” To a camera crew of three.

He’s got a spacewalk sponsorship,

A luxury oxygen brand,

And a little golden parachute In case he doesn’t understand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, We are pleased to announce that the first luxury

space hotel will open next Thursday.” Rooms start at ten million dollars.

Breakfast is included.

Floating! Floating!

Nothing weighs a thing!

Except the bill!

Floating! Floating! Look at me,

I’m free! Free as long as somebody else Paid the launch fee!

The pop queen waved from outer space,

Her hair was standing straight,

She said, “I’m breaking boundaries!” And sold the clip at eight.

The billionaire came home smiling,

Said, “The Earth looked very small.” Well,

maybe that’s the problem,

friend— You never saw the people at all.

MAN ON RADIO: “Congratulations,

Captain! What did you learn in space?”

CAPTAIN: “Well… I learned that Earth is beautiful.”

MAN ON RADIO: “And what will you do about it?”

CAPTAIN: “Buy another rocket.”

So count it down and light the fuse,

The rich have got the cosmic blues.

They’ll leave the Earth in style and grace,

Then send us postcards from outer space.

“Wish you were here!” — signed,

A man with a private star.

The funny thing about escaping Earth Is you still take Earth with

you wherever you are.

Fly me to the heavens,

baby, Put my name upon the moon!

I’m a self-made cosmic genius,

And I’ll be back before noon!

I’m a star among the stars now,

Hear the shareholders cheer!

If the world is going under— At least I’m not down here!

Ten! Nine!

Eight! Seven! Six! Five!

Four! Three! Two! One!

BLAST OFF! “Ladies and gentlemen…

Please remain seated. The planet is still under warranty.”