Smelly Cat Shuffle

{playful chicken-pickin' electric

guitar intro, acoustic rhythm strumming,

upbeat and humorous

tempo} There’s an old tomcat down by the barn,

Ain’t got no manners,

ain’t got no charm.

Never takes a bath,

just rolls in the hay,

Finds somethin’ stinkier every single day.

He’s always scratchin’, always got an itch,

Smells like a swamp mixed with an old roadside ditch.

He’ll rub on your boots with a mischievous grin,

Then leave you wonderin’ where that smell’s been.

{twangy guitar fills} Damn you,

Smelly Cat, what’d you roll around in?

Every time you’re near,

Lord, the stink rolls in.

We all back away,

but it catches us fast,

Like a rotten old breeze that just won’t pass.

Big ol’ whiskers, tail held high,

You clear the whole porch just walkin’ by.

Damn you, Smelly Cat… Go find yourself a bath!

{exaggerated fiddle

slide} The dogs won’t chase him,

they just turn around,

Even skunks won’t let him hang around.

Buzzards circle thinkin’ something died,

Then they catch a whiff and they take to the sky.

Grandma says, “Shoo!” Grandpa says,

“Nope!” Even the flies are losin’ hope.

He struts like a king,

thinks he’s lookin’ fine,

But he’s smellier than an old bait bucket left in the sunshine.

(whew!) {playful jaw harp boing}

We tried tomato juice and a garden hose,

A gallon of soap from his ears to his toes.

Five minutes later, wouldn’t you know… That funky old smell came back

tenfold!

{frantic

fiddle

and guitar buildup} Damn you,

Smelly Cat, you’re a one-cat storm,

Stinkin’ up the county from the barn to the corn.

But somehow we love your scruffy old face,

Even if we give you a whole lotta space.

You’ll always be the legend of this old farm flat… Our lovable,

unforgettable, funky old

Smelly Cat!

So if you come by and wrinkle your nose,

You’ll know exactly where that old cat goes.

Just hold your breath… and tip your hat… To that notorious old

Smelly Cat! (coughing) (haha)

{fading acoustic guitar strum

and single bass pluck}