Tiny Tyrant

(hahaha) Yeah, I see you down there.

Let me break this down for you real quick.

Look, everybody needs a microscope to see you coming through You’re the

only grown adult who fits inside a toddler shoe We gotta look

down at the floor just to see your tiny face You’re so

short you probably think a speed bump is a steeplechase Shelby,

why you always yapping with that little mouse voice?

Being near your bitter attitude is never by choice You need a

booster seat when you’re driving in the car And you can’t even

reach the counter at the local bar You’re under four feet tall

but your mouth is ten miles wide With a nasty little ego

that you’re trying to hide

Oh, little Aunt Shelby,

you’re a micro-sized pest

Always picking stupid fights,

trying to put us to the test You're closer to the dirt,

maybe that's why you're so mean The shortest,

angriest gremlin that I’ve ever seen Yeah,

you’re short, you’re bitter,

and you’re always in a mood Go back to the kids' table

and eat your tiny food

You gotta climb a stepladder just to open up the fridge If

you fell inside a puddle,

we would have to build a bridge You’re always talking trash like

you’re standing ten feet tall But you’re the size of a fire

hydrant standing in the hall Your temper is as short as your

tiny little legs You’re fragile and you’re cracking like a dozen rotten

eggs Nobody wants to hear you whine,

nobody wants your sass You’re so low to the ground you’re getting

tangled in the grass Just give it up,

Shelby, take your drama and go pack We can buy you a

stepstool so you can crawl into the back

Oh, little Aunt Shelby,

you’re a micro-sized pest

Always picking stupid fights,

trying to put us to the test You're closer to the dirt,

maybe that's why you're so mean The shortest,

angriest gremlin that I’ve ever seen Yeah,

you’re short, you’re bitter,

and you’re always in a mood Go back to the kids' table

and eat your tiny food

Yeah,

Aunt Shelby

Small frame, huge attitude,

absolutely no fans Go find a playground that matches your plans

We're done looking down at you

Goodbye, shorty.