Smoke Filled Memories

Mmm

I said I’m good,

but I’m not I said I’m gone,

but I watch Smoke in the room,

heart on lock You know me too well

I don’t text first,

but I type it Leave it there,

then I hide it Acting calm,

I’m the crisis In my head,

you’re invited I got pride in my jacket But your name in

the lining I get high,

start rewinding Every look,

every silence You don’t even gotta touch me Still got fingerprints on

my mood

I be saying you ain’t nothing Then I dress up thinking of

you Jealousy look bad on me But I wear it when I

miss you Said I’m healed,

that was half true I just learned how to not call you

I laugh like I don’t care Then stare at my phone I’m

everybody’s cool girl Till I’m crying alone And I hate that you

know How soft I get When the lights go low

I act like smoke Like you can’t hold me But I still

choke When you don’t want me I say I’m cold But I

burn slowly Baby, don’t look close You might still own me I

act like smoke I float,

I fade I say “let go” Then I replay I tell my

friends I’m over your name But I still breathe you in Like

it’s okay

You said “come through,” I said “maybe” That was code for “please

save me” I been too proud for the begging Too soft for

the leaving Got mascara on my hoodie Got your song in my

teeth Got a blunt going quiet Like it’s listening to me And

I hate when you’re happy If I’m not the reason That’s ugly,

I know But I’m tired of pretending

I don’t want a label I want you on purpose I don’t

want drama I want you nervous When I walk in late With

my eyes all red Like I didn’t just rehearse Every word I

said

I laugh like I don’t care Then stare at my phone I’m

everybody’s cool girl Till I’m crying alone And I hate that you

know How soft I get When the lights go low

I act like smoke Like you can’t hold me But I still

choke When you don’t want me I say I’m cold But I

burn slowly Baby, don’t look close You might still own me I

act like smoke I float,

I fade I say “let go” Then I replay I tell my

friends I’m over your name But I still breathe you in Like

it’s okay

Maybe I’m the problem Maybe you’re the proof Maybe I like hurting

When it smells like you Maybe I want love But I make

it lose Maybe I say “nothing” When it’s all about you

Soft guitar crying in the hallway

I don’t wanna be the one who calls late But if you

miss me, don’t say sorry Just say my name like you still

want me

I act like smoke Like you can’t hold me But I still

choke When you don’t want me I say I’m cold But I

burn slowly Baby, don’t look close You might still own me I

act like smoke I float,

I fade I say “let go” Then I replay I tell my

friends I’m over your name But I still breathe you in Like

it’s okay

Mmm

I said I’m good,

but I’m not

I said I’m gone,

but I watch

Smoke in the room,

heart on lock

You know me too well