Why I’m Still Holding On

Cold floor,

same room, I breathe slow

Same door, same walls,

but

I won't fold

Table full of faces,

but nobody sees me I keep my head down in a house

that burns me slow

They hit my line when the load gets heavy Then turn away

like I'm somebody they don't know

I talk to walls and bite my tongue at night Carry unsent

words like stones inside my chest A house ain't a home when

love comes with a price So I learn to breathe small,

try my best

If home is where the hurt begins

Then where do I go to heal

I wear a calm face for the world

But inside it's all too real

I don't feel at home in my own home

Same walls, same fire when the daylight's gone They let me go

like I mean nothing And I still wake up here,

still holding on

I don't feel at home in my own home But my friends

keep a light when it gets cold If I made it here

through all that crushing

It's the ones who chose me that I hold

I learned to read the silence by the weight it brings Smiles

at the cookout hiding little cruel things Not the kind that bleeds,

more the kind that erases Turn your name to a favor,

then forget your face I spiral when the morning hits,

I hide it when they ask Smile thin,

breathe small, keep anger in a mask But my day ones showed

up with no price on their care Sat with me in the

dark, made a life out of air

Maybe I'm not broken Maybe I was bruised too long If I

built my peace from people who chose me Maybe that's a home

I can call my own

I don't feel at home in my own home

Same walls, same fire,

but I'm not alone They cut me off like I'm a problem

Still I stand right here,

still holding on

I don't feel at home in my own home But I found

my breath in the unknown If I made it here through all

that crushing It's my friends who kept my heart still strong

Same door, same walls,

I still know the road

One day I'll leave this hurt behind (ooh)

I'm still here