Walls Before Trust

Still healing... Still guarded...

I used to call you family,

now your name feels strange,

Funny how loyalty disappears the second people change.

I gave chances ‘til my soul felt tired,

Kept putting out fires while you kept throwing lighter fluid higher.

I can feel fake energy before a word gets said,

Maybe that’s what happens when your childhood fills your head.

Everybody smiling got a hidden side,

And I learned real quick not everybody’s down to ride.

Now I keep my circle small on purpose,

Too many people only love you when it benefits them.

And every betrayal just confirmed Why I struggle letting anybody all the

way in. So when trust breaks,

I disappear, No screaming,

no revenge, I’m just no longer there.

‘Cause once I see your true colors show,

Something in me lets go.

I’d rather walk alone through hell Than sit at tables where betrayal

feels familiar.

And maybe that sounds cold,

But broken people learn survival before they learn connection.

I overanalyze every switch in tone,

Every delayed text, every time I feel alone.

People say I push good friends away,

But they don’t understand the damage that made me this way.

I watched people I loved become strangers overnight,

So now I leave the second something don’t feel right.

Not because I hate ‘em… Because losing people hurts less When I’m

the one choosing goodbye first.

I don’t miss people the way I used to,

I miss who I thought they were.

That’s the part nobody talks about… Mourning somebody that never really existed.

And maybe my walls got too tall,

Maybe trust feels impossible now.

But I’d rather

protect my peace Than bleed trying to save people who never cared

if I drowned. So if I walk away quietly,

Understand it took everything in me.

I stayed

loyal long after the warning signs appeared,

But once trust dies… So does the version of me that kept

you near.

Still healing… Still guarded… Still learning the difference

Between

loneliness

And peace.