Messiah On Hold

She came with wings made of fire and ice

Said my name like a verdict

She stepped through my dream like melted wax Eyes all cosmos,

lips stitched shut

She said, “You’ve got the voice of a burning church” But I

was coughing blood in the bathtub (They chose you) (I choose sleep)

(They’re waiting) (So is my shadow)

I said, “Girl, I’m no lamb,

I’m barely breath” She said,

“That’s why you’re perfect” I put the messiah on hold Told the

angel, “Check back when I’m whole”

I can’t bleed for the world just yet

Still trying to survive my own silhouette

(Save me first) (Hold the sky) (Sorry saints) (Need to cry) You

could have healed the oceans I’m still learning how to drink

You were born through pain and strife I was born with no

ability to think I asked her if heaven had Wi-Fi She laughed

like glass across tile

I said “Holiness can wait— —I’ve got ghosts to reconcile” (You’ll come

back?) (Maybe) (They’ll need you) (So will I)

She vanished through a mirror I didn’t own Left feathers made of

voicemail tones I put the messiah on hold Told the angel,

“My hands are too cold” If I save the world and forget

my name Ain’t that just another kind of flame?

(Save me first) (Burn me slow) (Hold the light) (Then let go)

(Still here) (Still falling)