Borrowed Confidence

First day, blank page,

borrowed smile

New badge, new name,

fake it for a while

They hand me a deck and a list of names A maze

of acronyms and polished games

Everybody nods like they know the score I write down questions and

I find ten more Coffee on my sleeve,

panic in my chest Trying to look calm while I guess the

rest Billable hours ticking in my head I smile through the meeting

and I mouth, not dead

I learn the room by the way they stall By the careful

words and the polished drawl If I keep moving maybe I will

fit

One more late night trying to make sense of it What the

hell am I doing here

Selling calm while I run on fear Slide by slide,

I make it look clear

What the hell am I doing here But I stay,

I learn, I hold my ground Lost at first till the shape

comes round In the glare of another conference room Now I speak

in timelines, risks, and scope Half from instinct,

half from borrowed hope Redline comments raining on the screen Somehow every

fix makes the story mean Client wants magic by end of day

Partner says smile and find a way I trace the pattern under

all the noise A little less fear in my voice

There is no map Just a hand on the rail A spark

in the static And a will not to fail

What the hell am I doing here Selling calm while I run

on fear Slide by slide,

I make

it look clear What the hell am I doing here But I

stay,

I learn, I hold my ground Lost at first till the shape

comes round Every hard truth makes a harder skin Tomorrow I walk

in and try again Not there yet,

but I am settling in