Room of Friends

Another Friday at the edge

of my room

Phone in my hand and the night

going blue

I know every corner of this place by heart

Cup on the table,

jacket in the dark

I tell myself quiet is a kind of peace Till the walls

start leaning in on me

Names on my screen and I type then erase

A hundred small exits,

the same old maze

I like my own company most days But some nights feel longer

when nobody stays

If I go out,

will I disappear

If I stay in,

will I stay right here

I keep my shoes by the door like a dare Half of

me leaving, half already there Do I open up,

do I lock the chain Do I learn new names or repeat

the same Is it brave to leave or brave to stay alone

I can't tell if this is shelter or a stone

I want a room of friends,

I want a night of one I want both at once and

I don't know which road I'm on I watch the trains run

under yellow rain

People finding people like it's so plain I rehearse hello until it

sounds too clean Then miss my stop inside a crowded scene Maybe

being known is a risk worth taking Maybe solitude is a choice

I'm making

I am tired of treating every chance like harm Tired of holding

all my weather in my arms Maybe one good friend is enough

for me Maybe peace is not the same as hiding Maybe I

can step out and still come home Maybe being seen won't undo

the quiet Do I open

up, do I

lock the chain Do I learn

new names or repeat the

same Is it brave to leave or brave to stay alone I

can't tell if this is shelter or a stone I want

a room of friends,

I want a night of one Maybe I can choose and still

be true when morning comes

Tonight I might step out Or stay and let myself breathe Either

way I want a life

That still has room for me