Ryan, Buy Me Some

(woo!) There’s a guy named Ralph,

he’s got life figured out,

Lives with Ryan, but he rarely helps out.

He’ll pitch in once in a while,

when he gets around,

But most of the time,

he’s nowhere to be found.

Layin’ in bed with his phone in his hand,

Playing casino slots like he’s got a master plan.

Ryan’s out working,

trying to pay the bills,

While Ralph’s hitting bonuses and chasing them thrills.

“Ryan, buy me some coffee,

Ryan, buy me some fuel.

Ryan,

can you get me something?

Man, you know what to do!”

He wants everything handed to him,

He wants it all for free.

Ryan says, “Ralph, you gonna help out?”

Ralph says, “Eventually!”

Ralph ain’t got a truck,

but that’s alright,

Ryan’s got one

sitting outside.

“Ryan, can I borrow it?

I won’t be gone long…” Then Ralph disappears and takes off down

the road.

He comes rolling back like nothing went wrong,

“Ryan, the tank’s a little low,

but it won’t be for long.”

Ryan looks at Ralph

and shakes his head,

“Who’s buying that fuel?” Ralph says,

“You instead!”

Coffee! Fuel! Food! And a ride!

Ralph’s got a wish list sitting by his side.

He rarely lends a helping hand,

But he’s always got a helping-demand plan!

“Ryan,

buy me some coffee,

Ryan, buy me some fuel.

Ryan,

fill up my tank—

You know that would be cool!” He wants everything handed to him,

He wants it all for free.

Ralph might help out once in a while,

But that ain’t Ralph’s specialty!

Ralph: “Hey Ryan…”

Ryan: “What now?” Ralph: “You going to town?” Ryan: “Yeah.” Ralph: “Cool.

Buy me some coffee and some fuel.”

Ryan: “You ever gonna buy anything yourself?”

Ralph: “Sure… someday.”

Ralph: “Oh, and bring me a biscuit!”