Scrubs & Screwups
Welcome to medical college.
Where sleep is optional,
attendance is compulsory,
and every student has at least three undiagnosed diseases.
(let's go!)
First year entered, got a dissection table,
Professor asking questions, man,
I ain't even stable.
Cranial nerves twelve, I can barely name seven,
Trying to learn the human body like I'm building a spaceship.
Brachial plexus got me losing my mind,
Median, ulnar, radial, which one's assigned?
Femur in my hand,
got a viva at nine,
If I fail this practical,
that's the end of my spine!
(bhai gaya!) Gray's Anatomy sitting heavy on my desk,
Read two pages, now I'm feeling depressed.
Mitochondria powerhouse, that's what they say,
But my own battery's dying every single day!
MBBS, no sleep, all stress,
White coat on, but we're looking like a mess!
Stethoscope hanging, heartbeat high,
Attendance short, don't ask me why!
(kyun bhai?) Got a viva tomorrow,
brain on blank, Need ninety-nine milligrams of caffeine in the tank!
Second year hits with the Pharma attack,
Memorised a hundred drugs,
can't remember my snack.
Histamine, dopamine, beta-blocker flow,
Check my own ECG,
it's remarkably low! (flatline!) Pathology slides,
what am I looking at?
Is it inflammation or a smear of butter fat?
Sir asked mechanism of homeostasis,
I gave him three blank stares and paralysis!
Microbiology culturing bugs in a dish,
Passing this internal is my only birthday wish.
(arrey yaar!)
Third year ward rounds,
acting real polite, Scrubbed in the OT like a warrior in white!
Sterile gloves ripped, don't touch the tray,
Resident yelled, 'Step back ten feet away!' (sorry sir!) Taking case history
in the busy OPD,
Patient diagnosing himself with web degrees.
Check the BP, pulse,
and the suture line,
Surgeon survives on black coffee and sunshine!
Did a night shift duty,
walking like a ghost,
Internship diet is two cups of tea and toast!
Hostel room chaos at three in the night,
Maggi in the kettle while we argue in the light.
Senior comes knocking, says 'Intro de jaldi!',
Sir, my name is confused and my life is faulty! (hahaha)
Canteen samosa giving gastric distress,
Yet we still show up to the mess in full dress!
MBBS, no sleep, all stress,
White coat on, but we're looking like a mess!
Stethoscope hanging, heartbeat high,
Attendance short, don't ask me why!
(never why!)
Got
a viva tomorrow, brain on blank,
Need ninety-nine milligrams of caffeine in the tank!
Wait, did I leave my apron in the canteen?
Someone mark my proxy please... (hahaha)